Is it wrong to feel like I don’t deserve food, or feel like I shouldn’t get to eat because I’m a fuck up? Ugh, I don’t know. My mind is everywhere right now.
So… It’s been a while
Hi guys. I know I’ve been gone for MONTHS, but I’m back now. Here I am. Hi. How are you?
Anyway, I’ve lost like 10lbs in the last couple weeks. I started taking my anti depressants again and my doctor said it could lower my appetite (I told her I was eating nonstop), and now my appetite is like, half, if not less. Food doesn’t seem as good to me anymore. I have a hard time finding things that sound edible. I can look in the fridge or cupboard for long periods of time and find nothing. I think part of it is laziness.
But I’m starting to wonder if my reduced appetite is actually from my medicine or if I’ve subconsciously convinced myself that my medication is suppressing my appetite. I can go for HOURS without eating, without wanting to eat. I know that it’s dangerous, but I can already see that I’ve lost weight. I’m really close to where I want to be, or my first goal weight or whatever, and it feels soooo good. Not eating feels good. Being hungry feels good. I’ve never felt this way before. I don’t really know what to do.
I joined a gym yesterday. I went for the first time today.